Ode To Failing Your Degree

(Thanks to Michelle for this forward)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinking I could never pass without revision guides,
But then I spent so many nights, getting all the questions
wrong,
And I grew strong, And I learned how to scrape along,

I won't look back, to any place,
When I can swallow 15 shots and get completely off my face,
I would have spent all day at work,
I would have had no spare time free,
If I'd thought for just one second my exams would bother me,

So all my notes, are on the floor,
Don't even matter... that there's no Comedy
night anymore...
Weren't you the one who tried to get me to revise?
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd work towards the skies?
Oh no, not I! I won't revise!

Unless I die from alcohol poisoning I know I'll stay alive,
Though my money's at an end, I've my overdraft to spend,
I won't revise, I won't revise!!

It took all the strength I had, not to act the part,
But in the end my real revision didn't even start.
I used to sit at home at night, feeling guilty to myself,
I used to try, But now hold my head up high,

And you see me! Somebody new!
I'm not that mixed up weird person who wants a good 2:2
So if you feel like dropping
in, chances are that I'll be free,
Coz I've done crap all revision & I'm failing my degree!

Oh no, not I! I won't revise,
I think that I may
scrape a third, but I could be telling lies!
Let the lecturers all scorn,
My bed's far too nice and warm,
I won't revise, I won't revise..............